It took me 138 dates to find love

On the outside she had it all, but Rebekah Campbell hadn’t had a boyfriend for 10 years. Lonely and terrified, she embarked on 138 dates in a systematic bid to find “the one”. This is what happened.

At 34-and-a-half, I appeared to have an enviable life. I was founder of a hot Sydney start-up, and I regularly appeared in the media and at business conferences, where I encouraged other women to strive for their goals. But on the inside, I was miserable. Because when I arrived home from work and looked at the four walls of my nice apartment, I was alone. I cooked alone, ate alone, watched TV alone, and fell asleep clinging to a pillow.

All I wanted was love and a family of my own. But I hadn’t been on a date in 10 years following the tragic death of my first boyfriend in a car accident. The first years after the accident were filled with grief. But as I clocked into my 30s, I realized that I’d become stuck. I’d been single so long, it was as if a hard shell had formed around me.

On Christmas Day 2011, I woke on a fold-out child’s bed in the garage of some friends of my parents. ‘I can’t live like this forever,’ I thought. And I calculated: ‘If I meet a man by next Christmas, it’ll take at least a year to move in, another two before he’d agree to start trying for kids.’ By then I’d be approaching 38. Yikes!

I sat on a bench and pulled out my plan for 2012. Could I take the same approach I’d used in business and apply it to find a man? I set myself a goal: one date every week for an entire year.

With trembling hands, I signed up to eharmony. I imagined men I knew through business spotting me and laughing. “Rebekah Campbell is looking for a date … She must be desperate.” But I persevered.