Who's the Mommy?
Bona|September 2016

It can be heartbreaking to see your child preferring to spend time with the nanny rather than you. But, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Lungile Khumalo
Who's the Mommy?

When Thandi* returned to work after maternity leave, she hired a nanny that she was happy to leave her baby with. Eighteen months later, Thandi was anxious and distraught. She had noticed a change in her daughter’s character – Phindi* preferred the meals her nanny prepared, wanted the nanny to play with her, and seemed happier to stay with her. After a week’s holiday with her mom and dad, Phindi threw herself at the nanny – happy to have her back in her life, leaving Thandi feeling like an outsider.

Childcare experts say that this behaviour is not unusual. “After spending 10 hours a day with the nanny for the past 18 months, Phindi’s reaction makes her mother feel uncomfortable. But, this is a common phenomenon, demonstrating the crucial role nannies play in a child’s life in the absence of the mother,” says Dr Senathi Fisha, a clinical psychologist and founder of Fishawellness Hospital in Pretoria.

“As a mother, you may feel as though you are being replaced by another ‘mother figure’. But, in reality, your instinctive bond will always remain natural, strong, sustained and irreplaceable,” Senathi adds.

Children crave routine, and get used to the person regularly feeding and bathing them, or reading a bedtime story for them. It’s not a case of the nanny doing a better job, or being liked more by your child. It’s about your child enjoying and wanting regularity and dependability – and for the time being, your nanny is doing just that.

Esta historia es de la edición September 2016 de Bona.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

Esta historia es de la edición September 2016 de Bona.

Comience su prueba gratuita de Magzter GOLD de 7 días para acceder a miles de historias premium seleccionadas y a más de 9,000 revistas y periódicos.

MÁS HISTORIAS DE BONAVer todo
Damage At Work: Who Pays?
Bona

Damage At Work: Who Pays?

What happens when you damage company property or property that belongs to your employer? Are you liable for the costs?

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Safety Tips When Driving With Kids
Bona

Safety Tips When Driving With Kids

The roads we drive on can be quite treacherous. Car safety is not only limited to you as a driver, but also your passengers including your children. Vuyi Mpofu gives us six safety tips that you must abide by.

time-read
3 minutos  |
June 2020
The Impact Of The Coronavirus
Bona

The Impact Of The Coronavirus

When COVID-19 hit South Africa, it came as no surprise that the virus would impact vulnerable communities such as townships and rural areas the hardest. The frequently asked questions since then have been whether the government has given enough information and resources to the people in disadvantaged areas or not. Everson Luhanga investigates further.

time-read
5 minutos  |
June 2020
Financially Surviving Covid-19
Bona

Financially Surviving Covid-19

Our finance guru, Sinesipho Maninjwa, shares advice on how you can navigate and survive the financial impact of the coronavirus.

time-read
9 minutos  |
June 2020
All I Want Is A Baby
Bona

All I Want Is A Baby

Trying to conceive with no success, and undergoing fertility treatment can take its toll on your relationship. This is the reality for many couples, and yet it remains a taboo subject.

time-read
4 minutos  |
June 2020
THE TRUTH ABOUT - feminine hygiene products
Bona

THE TRUTH ABOUT - feminine hygiene products

Despite numerous attempts by medical professionals to debunk the need for feminine hygiene products, numerous women still use them. Lethabo Nxumalo finds out why and if they are truly putting you at risk.

time-read
4 minutos  |
June 2020
THREE GENERATIONS OF MTOBA women
Bona

THREE GENERATIONS OF MTOBA women

Linda Mtoba (27) is a mom, and she’s extremely happy about it. She chats to Amanda Mtuli about her pregnancy and what motherhood has taught her thus far. She also introduces us to her beautiful daughter, Bean. We are lucky to have the matriarch of the family, Linda’s mother Celiwe Mtoba (47), present during the interview. She lovingly gushes over her first grandchild while giving us insight into what it was like raising Linda.

time-read
9 minutos  |
June 2020
THE OLDER SIBLING Blues
Bona

THE OLDER SIBLING Blues

Expecting the arrival of your bundle of joy may be exciting for you and your partner, but might not be so thrilling for your older child. Experts say kids sometimes struggle to accept the changes that a newborn brings. Fundiswa Nkwanyana spoke to some of them to help you prepare your firstborn for the new family member.

time-read
4 minutos  |
June 2020
Owning THE SPOTLIGHT
Bona

Owning THE SPOTLIGHT

Film and TV star Fulu Mugovhani (29), currently graces our screens as Noli on the M-Net series, Still Breathing. The former Scandal! actress talks about getting into showbiz and lessons learnt on and off the stage.

time-read
2 minutos  |
June 2020
Life After losing a child
Bona

Life After losing a child

A parent’s worst fear is the death of a child. And, when that fear becomes a reality, grief becomes unbearable and acceptance seems impossible. Four readers share intimate details of their journeys.

time-read
8 minutos  |
June 2020