What I Know For Sure

Timing, sacrifice, perseverance, leading by example and self-belief – five high-profile Kiwi women share the life lessons they live by

Dame Trelise Cooper Fashion designer

“From the early 1980s, I’ve lived by the philosophy that ‘everything happens for my highest good’. Tragedies, disasters, grief, sorrow, heartbreak, dreams that don’t come to fruition… it’s taking you on a path. Hold onto that in the moment of your deepest despair. If it’s something that’s broken your heart, consider how that break is allowing the light in. Breaking open can mean breaking through. When bad things happen, they send you on a new journey – somewhere you’d never have gone otherwise. It doesn’t take away the sadness – the feelings of loss, the grieving, that still happens. The human emotion still happens. But out of your sadness, you’ll become stronger. It’s all about attitude.

Perhaps you lost your job. Nothing will change that fact, but three months, six months, a few years later, you’ll realise, ‘Wow, if I hadn’t lost my job, I wouldn’t be on the path I am now.’ In our darkest hours it’s difficult to have that perspective, but the more I’ve been able to look back and see the good that has come out of bad situations, the less stress I’ve had about things not going the way I want them to. Of course, I make sure I’ve done everything within my power to bring about the expected outcome. But if I’ve done that and the outcome is unexpected, I accept that my highest good is unfolding right in that moment, and I surrender to that. I learned this lesson in my early twenties. I’ve always been a seeker of truth on a spiritual level.