MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS

Author Maya Shanbhag Lang talks about her critically acclaimed new memoir What We Carry

- Neha Kirpal

New York-based author Maya Shanbhag Lang’s new book What We Carry: A Memoir (HarperCollins India, `499), delves into her relationship with her mother, an accomplished physician who immigrated to the United States from India and completed her residency while raising children in a traditional Indian way.

The memoir has been named a New York Times’ Editor’s Pick, an Amazon Best Book of 2020, and a Parade Magazine Best Memoir of 2020. In this interview, the author talks among other things about the challenges of narrating a personal story, the changing dynamics in mother-daughter relationships, and writing about degenerative mental health disorders.

What led you to write your memoir What We Carry?

I was in the middle of working on my second novel when my mother needed emergency care. A geriatric psychiatrist, she was an expert at masking the symptoms of Alzheimer’s – until she couldn’t. I brought her home with me because I couldn’t bear the thought of hospitalising her.

Overnight, my life changed. I was caring for my young daughter at the time. I didn’t have help. I was overwhelmed. To cope, I started writing social media posts – my way of letting steam out of the pressure cooker that had become my life. An editor saw my posts and contacted my agent to ask if I would be interested in writing a memoir. I politely declined because the prospect terrified me. That night, I wrote 50 pages. I had no idea how much I needed to write this book until I started doing it. The most necessary stories, I think, are the ones that feel scariest to tell.