COWBOY-DANCE FUTURE WORLD

It t is the year 2248. We live in what some would call a perfect world.

- JACK HANDEY

There are no diseases, or hangovers. There is no fighting, except between women, for entertainment purposes. If you hear about a party, they have to let you in. It's the law. And they can't kick you out, no matter what you do.

But there is a dark side to our world. There is no funny cowboy dancing. It is forbidden by the High Council. No one wearing a cowboy hat or cowboy boots may get up in front of others and do a dance that could be considered "outlandish" or "unserious." This includes funny spinning, funny stomping, and funny sashaying. You don't even have to be wearing the cowboy boots on your feet; moving them with your hands is also a crime.

It's no longer safe to wear a cowboy hat at all. Especially a cowboy hat that is comically large or small. A friend of mine was arrested for walking down the street with a tiny Mexican sombrero on his head. He was never seen again.

The secret police are always looking for the slightest sign of people doing a funny cowboy dance. If you fall down on a slippery floor, then get back up, then fall down, then get up, over and over, you will probably be beaten with billy clubs. Spin around once, you might be O.K. Spin around twice and they set the dogs on you.