The Plight of the Sandwich Generation

TODAY, MORE AND MORE ADULTS IN THEIR 40S AND 50S ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR LOOKING AFTER AN OLDER PARENT AND CHILDREN BELOW 18 AT THE SAME TIME. BEING SQUEEZED AT EITHER END, THEY HAVE BEEN APTLY NAMED THE "SANDWICH GENERATION". THE WEIGHT OF THE RESPONSIBILITY INCREASES BOTH MENTAL LOAD AND FINANCIAL STRAIN, WHICH CAN LEAD TO BURNOUT. WHAT CAN YOU DO TO PREVENT THIS?

- PRIYANKA ACHARYA

"Sandwich generation" is a term that demographers have given to adults who are caring for both children under 18 and older relatives simultaneously. These days people are living longer, having children later, and requiring two incomes to get by: all of these factors result in more pressure on this generation, a pressed sandwich if you will. In recent years I have observed many of my peers become part of the sandwich generation. Their 20s are jolly and freewheeling, especially once they have gotten married. They now have a partner to travel and party with, without facing any parental scorn; their parents are still healthy and active, and relieved to see them settled down; and they don't yet have children to look after. Once the babies come, the focus is on surviving those early years while still preserving some of their former identity, and many new parents rely hugely on the support of grandparents who look after the baby so mom can get back to work.

If you identify with this timeline, then you know there is a wonderful period when the kids are out of diapers and enrolled in school. Your parents are still mobile enough to help with school pick up or ferrying them around to classes and birthday parties, allowing you to dedicate more mental energy to your partner, career, and social life. But for many, this sweet spot ends abruptly when mom or dad's health takes a turn for the worse. Stroke, heart attack, cancer, a fall...suddenly, the person who has taken care of you all your life now needs you to do it for them. The body which you once clung to for support iSs weakening before your very eyes, and you barely have time to process the emotions around this because there is so much else to do.