MORE THAN THE BLUES

Postpartum depression is a complex condition and mothers often don't seek help because they feel ashamed, experts say 

- MAXINE PETERS

IT WAS a trial that left many with mixed feelings. 

There was the horror of hearing how a mother killed her own children by strangling and smothering them. But there was also sympathy for a woman who wasn’t coping mentally and had little support.

After Lauren Dickason was found guilty in a New Zealand court of the murder of her three children, her parents released a statement asking people to be more aware of the symptoms of post-partum depression (PPD).

“This was not our daughter, but a debilitating mental illness which resulted in an awful tragedy,” Wendy and Malcolm Fawkes said. “The person experiencing depression and those closest to them may not be able to recognise the signs or how serious postpartum depression can become.”

Kirsten Small* does understand how crippling it can be. When she thinks back to the time shortly after her baby’s birth four years ago, she can’t help but tear up.

They’re not happy tears, even though her daughter, Mya*, is the biggest blessing in her life.

They’re tears of guilt and sadness because what should have been a time of joy and wonder was instead filled with feelings of inadequacy, shame and crippling anxiety.

That guilt and sadness were brought to the surface as Kirsten followed Lauren’s trial.

“When I heard the news about the verdict, I felt such sympathy towards her,” Kirsten (36) says. “Seeing reports calling her a ‘monster’, I wondered if that’s how people saw me for not feeling connected to my baby.”