MY SENSE OF SAFETY IS SHATTERED

This young mother is still coming to terms with the horrific attack that left her paralysed and her daughter dead

- JANICE BECKETT-MSIZA

THE view from the living room window is magni­ficent, a sand forest in a tranquil wilderness that’s home to an abundance of flora and fauna.

But the sight beyond the panes of glass is also a grim and constant reminder of a day of horror and tragedy that left a little girl dead and her mother paralysed from the waist down.

The incident replays itself in Nicole Panos’ mind repeatedly and she can’t help but feel guilty about what hap­ pened. She feels angry and sad too be­ cause she grew up surrounded by nature and always felt lucky to be able to raise her children “in the safest part of the world”.

“I do believe things happen for a rea­ son but I also believe in not sugar­coat­ ing things,” she says. “I’m really just try­ ing to learn to live alongside my grief instead of pushing it away.”

It’s been eight months since Nicole (26), her son, Kayden (4), and her 16­month­ old daughter Kaia, were attacked by a giraffe in the Kuleni Game Park near Hlu­ hluwe in KwaZulu­Natal, where she and her parents live (YOU, 17 November 2022).

Nicole was working as a field guide at Bhejane Nature Training and giving sup­ port to trainee field guides. That fateful day she and her children had had a nap at home and Nicole roused the children because she had an appointment with a student 200m away at the park’s office. She carried Kaia and held Kayden’s hand as they walked to the meeting, not know­ ing of the danger ahead.