THE SLOW BURN

Not all breakups are sudden. Some relationships gradually erode with time. Experts share how to prevent this happening

- JANICE BECKETT-MSIZA

INFIDELITY and dishonesty are all things that can shatter a marriage in an instant and leave devastation in its wake like a bomb that’s burst. But not all relationships unravel in a catastrophic way – and they’re no less devastating than the ones that come with a great explosion.

Instead some unions have more of a slow implosion, where ongoing little problems slowly chip away at the foundation of your love until one day you realise you and your partner are just not meant to be together anymore.

The end of these kinds of relationships is often a shock – especially when one partner has no idea how unhappy the other is. Or both of you are stunned to realise things have broken down to the point where you may not even like each other anymore and have drifted apart.

In this kind of breakdown there are usually signs that have been missed and when you look back you’ll likely see the small things that have eroded your relationship, experts say.

Here they give advice on what to look out for to ensure if doesn’t happen to you.

TOO MUCH CRITICISM

Nobody likes being criticised yet we do it so easily with our partners. It could be small stuff that gets on your nerves, like not putting things where they’re meant to be. Perhaps it’s bigger issues such as always being late or not being attentive enough.

But being critical rarely gets you the outcome you want. You may think pointing out things that annoy you will motivate your partner to change but it’s more likely to make them resentful if your feedback isn’t delivered in the right way.