Bouquet of Remedies

The stress caused by my yearning for a child for many years, and the subsequent treatments I underwent, played havoc with my physical and mental health.

- Payal K Talwar 

My body was getting stiff and prone to constant spasms, rendering me immobile for days on end. What followed was pain and discomfort all over the body. The pain was getting unbearable, and so was the mental anguish. I was asked to leave an esteemed educational institution where I was working. Despite being in this condition, I pushed myself no end to prove myself as a citizen journalist; a few months after leaving my school job, I took up writing. On one hand, I was excited to see the bylines, and on the other, my health kept deteriorating. Running from pillar to post had become second nature. I had severe health challenges for which solutions were not forthcoming. I felt lost and disappointed.

Around this time, about six years ago, my husband and I decided to shift residence. During the process, one early morning, my husband was helping me get out of bed to stand on my feet. As I walked in pain, with one hand interlocked in his and the other taking support of the walls, I saw myself in the mirror. My heart ached to see myself like that. After completing the morning chores, my hand habitually reached out for the box full of medication. I just kept staring at it, and I completely broke down. This time, I didn't take them and told myself, Payal, you cannot continue taking this all your life, and you cannot enter your new house with this box.

That was it! I threw all the medicines in the dustbin. I even told myself that, henceforth, I would be free of all side effects. Suddenly, after many years, something changed inside me. The will was in place, but the journey was far from being smooth.