You can FACE your FEARS

We're told to feel the fear and do it anyway, but that's easier said than done. Rather than dreading it, Debra Waters decided to find ways to embrace it

- Debra Waters

I'm not the bravest person in my friendship group but I'm curious and determined to make the best of life. However, as I've got older it's dawned on me that change and I are uneasy bedfellows. In truth, I'm distrustful - superstitious, even - of change and this has infiltrated most decisions I make, big and small. BIG: it took seven years of careful consideration, spreadsheets and sleepless nights to move to a different city (just 50 miles away and inhabited by friends). SMALL: my daily habits are so set in stone that I bore myself (same morning coffee, same jogging route, same lunch at the same café). But do I try something new? Nope. And if, for some reason, I have to alter my routine, my anxiety goes into overdrive. Why have I become so change-averse?

One explanation is 'better the devil you know'. Fear thrives on uncertain outcomes. For instance, I work on an uncomfortable chair that hurts my back-changing it might make my back worse, although it could make it better. More concerning are the unhealthy relationships I hold on to, so as not to cause upset or a fuss, or experiences I reject in case they disrupt my carefully curated life. Ironically, as I've become more comfortable and settled, rather than using this stability as a springboard to a more stimulating life I'm more fearful than ever. Yet change can be inspiring and insightful. It enables us to adapt, learn and evolve, and it keeps boredom at bay. So why do many of us find it daunting? 

SIGNS YOU NEED TO FACE YOUR FEAR. YOU...

- let opportunities or experiences pass you by;

- avoid spontaneity yet crave it;

- feel unchallenged, bored or stuck in a rut;