The saying goes you should trust your instincts, and my instincts told me something wasn’t right the second I noticed my left breast was changing shape while on holiday in Lanzarote in July 2023. Wearing a bikini and slathering on sun lotion I noticed it was pulling up towards my neck.
Not wanting to ruin the holiday or worry my daughter, Katie, then 15, I didn’t mention it. I’d split from her dad 11 years before and he lived in Ireland, so it was just me and her and my best friend Helen on the holiday.
Back home after our trip I was in bed when my fingers rubbed over a lump the size of a grape. Panicked, I visited my doctor who took one look and said she needed to issue an urgent referral for a mammogram. Ice cold fear invaded every cell in my body. The following week, a mammogram at St Margaret’s Hospital in Epping discovered two tumours, one 11mm and the other 2.5mm.
A terrifying two-week wait for biopsy results followed. Katie was on holiday with friends and whenever we spoke I didn’t mention it, keen to protect her.
Two friends sat either side of me to get my results that August. When the consultant said, at 45, I had HER2 positive breast cancer, driven by oestrogen, the room spun. Trapped in a surreal nightmare, I listened as he explained I needed chemotherapy to shrink the tumours, followed by a single mastectomy, lymph node removal, and radiotherapy.
My legs trembled as I left the hospital and somehow stumbled to the local pub. I broke down in tears as the three of us shared a bottle of wine, sobbing into my glass one minute, laughing hysterically the next. How would I get through this and stay strong for Katie? She needed me.
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