Stop shrinking the thinking

It's not OCD, it's just neat. Is it toxic or are you just peeved? Let's leave therapyspeak to the experts, shall we?

- Urvee Modwel

When did we all become shrinks? Therapists and self-appointed experts have broken open the most useful lexicon for mental health. They've taught us how to cope with "being triggered", how to "identify a narcissist", how to "set boundaries". Dads, they tell us, gave us "daddy issues", mums passed on "generational trauma". Workplaces, social circles, even relationships can be "toxic". Is this even useful or are we creating a toxic cycle of our own?

In August, actor Jonah Hill's ex, Sarah Brady, shared the text messages he'd sent her about what he'd referred to as his "boundaries". These included forbidding her from "surfing with men", from being friends with "women who are in unstable places" and from taking selfies in her swimsuit.

This isn't therapy-speak but a weaponising of it, misusing the idea of boundaries not to preserve his wellbeing, but to control her behaviour.