Thank you, next!

How much can you decode from a man's dating bio? We got actor Alaya F to suss out a few profiles and tell us what how to spot a creep from a keeper via just a few lines

- Karishma Kuenzang

Surely, the dating-app bio is the literary art form of our time. A whole personality squeezed into a few upbeat lines. Hobbies are played up (I travel! I eat! I spend Sunday recovering from Saturday night!). Anxieties are played down (I'm tall... enough! I'm not too needy! I can take a joke!). Some throw in a bonus: A pop-culture reference, a pun, a possibly stolen playlist. Some, seal their own fates, opening with a joke that's so off-colour, there's no need to read on.

Actor Alaya F, 26 and single, has seen them all. So, what does make someone dateable in 2024? Fresh off her summer release Bade Miyan Chote Miyan, and as she waits for her next, Srikanth, she looks through 15 dating bio prompts and picks what she'd swipe right on.

Prajakta Koli got it right in Mismatched (above, 2020-). Any man who opens with "Hello, my future wife" deserves a cold coffee thrown in his face. Don't resort to random '90s Bollywood song lyrics either (below). Cringe!

Mr Has-too-many-gympictures.

They're all shirtless (hello nipples!). He never skips leg day. His sweaty face is not bad-looking.

I know the best place in town for: Gymming.
My typical Sunday: Workout, followed by a healthy breakfast.

Alaya says: I'd swipe left. It's important to take care of your body. But it can't be your whole identity. If he had balanced all the gym stuff with other things he does, or pictures with other people, it might give the idea of a more rounded life. As an actor, I'm used to meeting people who are self-involved and into their looks. It makes me wonder about their personality.

Mr Who-cares-about-grammar?

He's wearing sunglasses in every picture. He types lyk dis.

My pet-peeve: Mah lyf mah rulz.

My biggest fear is: Yes.