God's Pillow

In 2016, the Soberanes Fire in Northern California was the costliest ever in the United States. It almost cost me my life, despite the promise I made to my wife

- JOHN TIERSMA

On the worst and bestday of my life, I was behind the wheel of a 2,300-gallon water tanker truck heading straight toward the flames of a raging California wildfire.

It was September 11, 2016. The Soberanes Fire was on its way to burning 132,127 acres of rugged mountain wilderness east of the Big Sur coastline. Started by an illegal campfire, the blaze would go on to kill one firefighter, destroy 57 homes and cost more than $260 million to suppress.

I had been hired by a private contractor to deliver water to government firefighters on the backcountry fire line. The work was incredibly dangerous. I led a small caravan of two tanker trucks along a narrow, treacherous ridgetop fire road. One false move and my truck, carrying some 18,000 pounds of water, would plunge hundreds of feet to the bottom of a ravine.

I lived for moments like this. I'd been an adventure-seeker all my life.

The riskier, the better. Helping fight wildfires was a dream job.

I tried to put out of my mind the fact that this job was also causing major problems in my marriage.

My wife, Cassandra, didn't even know I was here. She thought I was at the firefighters' base camp. She'd made me promise not to sign up for backcountry duty.

"I promise," I said on my way out the door. A promise I promptly broke when I arrived at the base camp and learned they urgently needed drivers to supply a remote team of firefighters. I couldn't resist.

I made all the usual excuses. Driving a water truck was way less dangerous than actually fighting the fire. The team needed me. I had to earn a living somehow. Cassandra just didn't understand what work like this meant to me.

I hated anything resembling desk work. I'd even quit a job as a freight train conductor after discovering it mostly involved filling out forms. If Cassandra truly understood how I felt, I wouldn't have to deceive her.