Bully Busters

An after-school program challenges toxic guy culture

- Rachel Giese

FOR BOYS, MESSAGES about who they should be and how they should behave arrive early and remain insistent: Man up. Grow a pair. Don't be so gay. The result is that being a young man oftentimes means trading off tenderness and connection for social status and approval.

Jake Stika, the 34-year-old executive director and co-founder of Next Gen Men, a non-profit focused on redefining masculinity for boys and men, knows this dynamic well. Back in 2007, during his second year at Brock University, Stika struggled with depression. To cope, he began binge drinking. Soon, he was getting into fights. At the same time, his friend Jermal Alleyne Jones was grieving the loss of his younger brother, who had been bullied and died of suicide. Together, and in conversations with friends, they realized just how toxic traditional ideas of masculinity could be for boys' mental health.