It's no wonder we dread being alone. All our lives, we've been primed to fear it. The kid who played by themselves in the playground? They were called a loner. The one who had a birthday party, but the cool kids didn't show up? They felt unpopular.
Not being able to find a plus one for the wedding makes us feel like losers. The terrifying prospect of having to sit alone during lunch is such a common theme in high school movies that Steven Glansberg, a throwaway cameo in Superbad, has made it into the Urban Dictionary as "that kid who sits alone at lunch every day, eating his dessert." It was drummed into us that we had to have a prom date, to fill our yearbooks with signatures, to be surrounded by a squad of friends. Being alone meant being lonely.
Even as adults, that fear remains. In fact, many people would rather stay in an unhappy relationship than be single.
If you type the phrase "Will I ever..." into a search engine, it predicts that the next words you will enter are "find love," because "Will I ever find love?" is the most popular question people ask about their futures. This question reveals our insecurity, our fear, our anxiety around loneliness, and these very feelings prevent us from finding love. Researchers at the University of Toronto found through a series of studies that when we're afraid of being single, we're more likely to settle for less satisfying relationships. Specifically, we're more likely to become dependent on our partners and less likely to break up with them, even when the relationship doesn't meet our needs.
My client Leo had been dating Isla for nearly a year when her job took her from Philadelphia to Austin. "You should do what's best for you," she told him.
Esta historia es de la edición Volume 3. No 1 - 2023 de The Oprah US.
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Esta historia es de la edición Volume 3. No 1 - 2023 de The Oprah US.
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The BEST BOOKS of 2024
We all loved Oprah's Book Club selections this year (did you read them all?), but here are our editors' favorite standouts on the shelves-from the thoughtprovoking to the heartwarming to the hilarious.
The Summer I TOOK My Mom "HOME"
Whenever I tell people about the Last Trip Home I took to Italy with my 87-year-old mother and my older son last summer, everyone has the same response (\"Awwww...\"), which makes me feel like a fraud because I know they're imagining some gauzy scene. And to be fair, I'd tried to plan it that way.
PARIS Made ME DO IT
Travel maybe shouldn't be any different than \"regular\" life, but it is.
LOST And Found IN AMERICA
When I was 21, I spent the summer driving around the United States with my boyfriend. It amazes me, looking back, that I let myself go on that eight-week trip.
I WENT I Saw, HATE
Ten years ago, I went to Tokyo on a lark. I was invited to the opening of the 38-story Aman Tokyo hotel, a beautiful example of urban minimalism and a destination unto itself.
Trips That Changed US All Forever
Me, MOM, And A Thousand SEABIRDS
Dear Biohackers, The Secrets to Longevity Are Simpler Than You Think
In a world of health trackers built to optimize, we propose choosing joy over deprivation and community over navel-gazing. The research agrees.
The Menopause Makeover: For When "Aging Gracefully" Gets Old
Because literally everything-from eyelids to neck skin to boobs to butt-falls off a cliff. Here, a dozen interventions women in this life stage are embracing.
Why I Cut Off All My Hair
The author of City of Girls and Big Magic talks about how she made the bold decision to break out the clippers in order to find her own version of beauty.
The Perfect Gift Book for Everyone on Your List
Sumptuous reads that look as lovely on your coffee table as they do on your bedside table.