Heart's desire

Ambitious debut explores murky line dividing fan and fanatic.

- JOSIE SHAPIRO

I'M A FAN, by Sheena Patel (Granta, $22.99)

There's a burning rage that borders on psychopathic in Sheena Patel's first novel. Named one of the Observer's top 10 best debut novelists for 2023, Patel has written a story that delves into the vampiric world of fandom, betrayal and desire.

The unnamed narrator dreams of possession: possession of people, art, power, culture, and taste. Her boyfriend, a kind, caring and sweet man, has no idea she's having an affair with a much older, married man, whom she refers to as "the man I want to be with".

There's not much detail about our narrator, only that she's a person of colour, she's much younger than the older man's wife and his other mistresses, and she's scraping by on freelance jobs. She wants to be with him because of his status as a wealthy, famous white man in Britain, because she wants to create cultural impact, and also because she wants the illusion of brilliance that comes with generational wealth. However, at the same time she understands the colonial and violent history that denies her these things and by turn also gives them their value.