It's the ruck of the Irish..

England World Cup woe

AN elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile stopped me in the street.

The crocodile pulled out a police badge and said: "We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of an hallucinogenic nature, sir!" Since then I've been sticking to the booze but I find it hard to meet like-minded drunks. I found one group called Anonymous Alcoholics, which was fun.