MK hiding in plain sight

Jacob Zuma, our home-grown wannabe Jonas Savimbi, ordered his party's parliamentarians to wear camouflage uniforms when reporting for duty last week. They disappeared briefly while shambling past the hedges.

- BEN TROVATO

I think it's a great look. Better than JuJu's dwindling band of not-so-merry men and women. For their uniforms, the increasingly isolated commander-in-chief chose a colour representing warmth and sexuality. There's a reason Hallmark uses so much red on their cards. Red is also the colour of blood, which works very well now that the EFF is bleeding support from the gaping exit wound left when the quisling Floyd clawed his way out under cover of darkness.

On the other hand, camouflage represents all manner of non-romantic things, not least a convenient way of hiding stubborn wine stains. It also serves as a valuable tool to avoid detection by enemy forces, such as the chairs of portfolio committees.

"We were there, comrade. You just didn't see us."

Camouflage was developed for military use by the French in 1915, setting a proud tradition of avoiding conflict at all costs. One of the techniques of camouflage include the placement of lifelike dummies in strategic positions, hence the deployment to parliament of the likes of Jimmy Manyi and #1 daughter, Duduzile.