Early nights? A mere 30 years too late, the World is being remade to suit me

Today I begin three days of being locked in a tiny soundproofed windowless room, alone except for a book.

- Lucy Mangan

Monday In so many ways, it is the dream. The only flaw is that the book is one I wrote and I have to read it aloud into a microphone so that it may be recorded and turned into an audiobook. So really, it's three days of continuous talking and of periodically hearing your voice played back to you so that you can hear where you went wrong. In other words, a nightmare. And that's before you get to all the typos and other, more profound infelicities you notice in your prose only once you read it aloud. Dear God, you think. Who wrote this drivel? And then the crushing realisation - it was you. It took you ages and you really tried your best and now this. You are a disgrace to the profession. And to typing. Anyway. It's called Bookish: How Reading Shapes Our Lives, it's the sequel to Bookworm: A Memoir of Childhood Reading and it's out next year, in case you're interested in making my pain worth it.

Tuesday Oh to be young again! For once, I really mean it. According to David McDowall, chief executive of the Stonegate Group which runs more than 4,000 bars, the era of the big night out - Friday, Saturday, Friday into Saturday - is well and truly over. The busiest hour at the Slug and Lettuce chain, for example, is now 3-4pm on a Saturday instead of 9-10pm. On Friday nights, they host bingo, so sparse is attendance otherwise.

A mere 30 years too late, the world is being remade to suit me. Young people are finally admitting that going out is awful and that home and bed by 9pm is the time and place to be. I'm so proud of them, and relieved. I feel like a mother hen counting her chicks back into the coop for the night and tucking them safely under me until morning.