Flicking down the edge of the bundle with my finger I would glance at the huddle of boys trading the hottest commodity in the playground with a nervousness that was enough to hold me back from even trying to join in.
I could play football, sure, that was the easy part, but could I talk their talk, did I know football? Of course I did. I watched it, I played it, I read the back pages, but it never felt like I belonged. And so, my little stack of swaps remained unswapped, shinies unshared, and my pocket money was depleted as I spent it trying to accrue my missing targets, never completing a book.
When I wanted little gold cannon earrings? I had to spend double, buying two from the Arsenal store as they were only sold individually for boys and men. When I wanted a shirt? It was a boys' small, boys' medium or boys' large shirt that fitted awkwardly on the hips as I edged towards puberty. When I wanted to play Fifa 97? I played as the Arsenal men's team. As a girl, I was excluded from the culture of football as much as I was from playing it.
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Parry: Premier League would be 'sterile' without EFL
Rick Parry has accused the Premier League of undervaluing the football pyramid, arguing that without the \"variety and competition\" that come from relegation and promotion the game would become \"sterile\".
Official review: Coote faces FA investigation as Webb breaks silence on video
The Football Association has launched its own investigation into the behaviour of the referee David Coote after remarks he made about Jürgen Klopp in a video that surfaced online this week.
Match-by-match: Coote's Liverpool games as an official
Referee who has been caught on video in a foul-mouthed tirade against Jürgen Klopp officiated 21 Liverpool games. Andy Hunter takes a look at the decisions in each one
Wretched, haunted but human: a referee shaped by modern football
Is it really a surprise that an official or someone similar should end up glassy-eyed and spitting toxins on a sofa?
Hall's audition adds intrigue to England's Nations League finale
In-form Newcastle defender can show Thomas Tuchel he can be the solution to perennial problem on the left
'It's about robust planning, proper financial control'
is about \"preventing the shocks\" that have disrupted the sport in recent years.
'People are going to see women's boxing at its very best'
The super-lightweight world champion Katie Taylor says her rematch against Amanda Serrano in Texas, as the main support act to Tyson v Paul, will be something special
Blindkilde Brown and Fujino help City avoid slip up
Manchester City maintained their 100% start in the Women's Champions League group stage as second-half goals from youngsters Laura Blindkilde Brown and Aoba Fujino were enough to beat a determined Hammarby side.
Players must cope with extra scrutiny, says Lewis
The England coach, Jon Lewis, said his players experienced a \"sharp learning curve\" about perception management in the fallout from their disastrous group-stage exit in last month's T20 World Cup.
No input from Jones in England's plan to upset Springboks
England will not be benefiting from the insider knowledge of their former Springbok assistant coach Felix Jones this weekend after it emerged that neither their players nor key staff members have been in contact with the Irishman, still supposedly employed remotely by the Rugby Football Union (RFU).
