When the subject of Geoffrey Boycott's seven-hour 70 came up, Gower joked that was "seriously fucking rapid" by his old mucker's standards - before apologising for using the word rapid.
What followed from England on the opening day here was not exactly breakneck either; Ben Stokes winning the toss, electing to bowl and his side labouring through only 83 overs. The cricket itself, though, was packed with incident for the 8,000 or so lucky souls who lined the grass banks of this gorgeous boutique venue. Kane Williamson top-scored on 93, showing those hands are no less Oil of Olay soft for missing the 3-0 series win in India, and 319 for eight felt evenly poised.
Brendon McCullum had credited New Zealand's resourcefulness for that particular slice of history three weeks ago and while his England players were a bit sloppy - reviews either not taken or burned, a glut of no-balls, and a costly drop off Glenn Phillips at the start of what became an unbeaten 41 - they did keep chipping away. McCullum will have taken particular delight at the off-spinner Shoaib Bashir claiming four for 69 on a green-tinged, day one pitch that both captains had wanted to make use of first. It was a very Kiwi surface, quickening up and likely to get truer.
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