Be kind to yourself as you navigate the holiday season

The holidays are here again – that time of the year when shopping malls are decked out in twinkling lights, Christmas carols play on a loop, and our social media feeds are flooded with pictures of families on holiday or friends at festive gatherings.

- Jared Ng

For many, it's a season of joy, connection and celebration. But for others, the holidays can magnify feelings of loneliness or grief, or the pressure of not fitting into the mould of what this time of the year "should" look like.

At my last count, nearly 20 families among my friends and patients are heading off to Japan for the year-end break. If you're not one of them, and you're spending Christmas at home wondering why you're not swept up in the festive cheer, know this: It's perfectly okay to feel the way you do.

The truth is, not everyone experiences the holidays as joyful. Back in 1967, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe developed the Social Readjustment Rating Scale to measure the stress caused by life events.

Major festivals, including Christmas, made the list – not because they're inherently bad, but because they can bring significant emotional shifts. The pressure of planning, managing family dynamics or navigating feelings of exclusion can often make the holidays more overwhelming than uplifting.

Social media adds another layer of pressure – with images of lavish parties, extravagant holidays and perfectly curated celebrations. Even when the posts are meant to be light-hearted, they can feel like humblebrags, leaving others to compare their own experiences and feel inadequate.

Family WhatsApp groups, a quintessentially Singaporean phenomenon, can heighten this pressure with their steady stream of updates about gatherings, celebrations and achievements. One patient told me: "It's not like I'm unhappy for them, but scrolling through their messages makes me feel even more alone."

As Christmas blends seamlessly into New Year's Day, it marks not only the close of the month, but also the end of the calendar year.

For many, this period is a natural time for reflection – thinking about what you've achieved or lost, and what you hope for in the year to come. For some, this introspection feels fulfilling.