Disconnect between youth and parents mars CNY family reunions in China

Many complain on social media about fights at home over their marriage, job prospects

- Aw Cheng

Computer programmer Dexter Ji, 34, was planning to stay with his family in eastern Shandong province for the Chinese New Year celebrations until Feb 16 but cut short his visit after a fall-out with his parents.

He returned to Beijing, where he lives and works, on Feb 13 after a big family quarrel about his decision to stay single. The official holiday began on Feb 10 and ended on Feb 17.

"It was a very bad fight. My mother asked me to pay her back all the money she spent bringing me up, while my father told me to get out of the house if I wasn't going to get married," he told The Sunday Times. "My sister-in-law tried to break up the fight but she ended up being dragged into it, when my parents started scolding her for not having children."

The disconnect that Chinese youth feel towards their parents and other older relatives has been highlighted in local media recently, with reports on how more Chinese, particularly millennials and those in Gen Z, are reluctant to go home for the Spring Festival, as Chinese New Year is known in China.

For those who went back, many have gone on social media to complain about big fights at home over their marriage and career prospects, the discussion of which they said violated their privacy.

The country's longest and biggest holiday is traditionally a time for family reunions, with migrants - including those working in prosperous cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou - making a trip to their home towns for the festivities. But this year's reunions appear to have been an especially difficult time for Chinese youth as the gap between older relatives' expectations and the young people's own aspirations has widened.

The country's slowing economy coupled with societal changes have meant that an increasing number of young people are choosing to stay single or not have children.