Q: Hi Mamata, a while back, you were on a one-way path to becoming a doctor (your family is full of medical professionals), but that didn't happen. It was a canceled plan.
Yeah, that's been my biggest canceled plan, because for so long that was the one-way trajectory I was on. Everyone thought I was going to be a doctor. I thought I was going to be a doctor, even though I didn't want to be one. Halfway through college, I wasn't doing well in pre-med classes, and it was not because I didn't have the interest or the intelligence to do well. My own mental health issues plus not being naturally good at those subjects was a combination for disaster.
I'm grateful to my mom, who saw me struggling and saw that it wasn't what I wanted to do. She said, "Okay, maybe you should try something different." There were a lot of disappointed people, including me, as it was who I thought I was supposed to be for a long time. That vision was molded by so many people, and it was all I knew as my identity. I still struggle, because it derailed everything.
Q: That couldn't have been easy. How did you navigate that decision? You said you were struggling with mental health back then.
As a child raised in the U.S. with immigrant parents, there is a part of me that is built to become my parents' dreams. That is not at all a knock against immigrant parents in the U.S. with dreams, but it's a lot of pressure on them and their kids. We're finally getting to a place where society has language for it. Back then, I was so compliant, and even the idea of stepping out of that shell was terrifying, because it had been an unsafe comfort zone for so long.
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Esta historia es de la edición October 2023 de Heartfulness eMagazine.
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