DEAN CHIEF BIRMY'S A NEW VIRAL SENSATION

JUST as Michael Birmingham picks up the phone to The Non-League Paper, he takes delivery of a parcel at work.

- Jon Couch

“I don’t believe it, who sent this?” the charasmatic Horndean manager sniggers. “It’s only a giant tub of Sudocrem!”

Those unaware of the significance of this rather random package obviously aren’t one of the 775,000 people who viewed Birmingham’s refreshingly honest post-match comments last Saturday which went viral and made him something of a Non-League celebrity.

Birmingham was furious with his players’ performance in a 4-0 defeat at Raynes Park Vale and made his feelings perfectly clear in front of the social media cameras after the match.

“I hope our players have got plenty of Sudocrem at home because they’ve had their a**es slapped today,” the 49-year-old ranted.

“Fair play to Raynes Park, they were the better side by a mile, best side we’ve played this season, ruthless.

“I thought the centre forward, No20 up top, was absolutely magnificent.

“I wish I had one of them. At the moment I’ve got four token gestures as a centre forward – not even four put together can resemble anything to do with him.