Training My AI Replacement

Approximately 78% of the workforce will be automated by artificial intelligence by the year 2025. I didn’t actually research that statistic, but it doesn’t matter as AI will likely soon be taking over this column.

- Anthony Elio

Rather than fight this inevitability, I’ve decided to fully embrace it and begin interviewing my possible replacements about why they should have my job, their most comedic take on technology, and what an ideal employee looks like. Here are the results from the grueling interview process:

Why you should have my job?

“I should have your job because I can learn and adapt faster, process information more efficiently, and generate creative and informative text formats, saving you time and resources.” — Google Bard

“I can efficiently process and analyze vast amounts of information, offer rapid and precise responses, and continually adapt to the evolving needs of the job.” — Hix AI