BOTH MY BOYS COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED

Helen McHale, 61, believes her sons were let down by the people who were meant to protect them

- CLARE SWATMAN, ANN CUSACK

Gazing at the framed photo of my sons, beaming happily into the camera, I smiled with sadness. Just young lads enjoying primary school, they were innocent and carefree. Back then, the biggest worries they had was who would get the last chocolate biscuit in the pack. And any pain they had was easily fixed with a magical kiss from me. I longed to go back to that time. Before life had got too much to bear for them. More than anything, though, I just wished to still have them both with me.

When Sam was born in July 1994, followed by Matthew, in August 1997, other than their love of football, they couldn’t have been more different from each other. Sam was a bright, popular boy, whereas Matthew found it harder to make friends.

‘He’ll find his way,’ everyone assured me and their dad Lee. We hoped they were right. Then when they were six and nine, Lee and I separated. The boys found it hard, but we settled into a routine.

But when Sam started secondary school, things started going downhill. Although he was popular, he never felt like he fitted in. His grades slipped, and nothing seemed to hold his interest. But his teachers insisted he was a brilliant student, and I just assumed he’d eventually find a passion.

Besides, there was something else that needed my attention.

Matthew was coming to the end of primary school, and his teachers were concerned about him.

‘We think Matthew might be on the autistic spectrum,’ they said.

While we waited for test results, secondary school was a huge challenge for him. He became angry and difficult, having regular meltdowns about seemingly nothing.

It took over a year to get his diagnosis.

‘Matthew has Asperger’s,’ the specialist eventually said. Neither me or Lee were surprised, and after a lot of effort we got extra support for him.

CONSTANT WORRY