I FELL IN LOVE WITH A WIDOWER

When Julie McNally, 52, began dating Justin, she faced the challenge of navigating around his late wife's memory-and forging a relationship with his children

- KATE GRAHAM

Scrolling through the dating app Bumble, I stopped to look at the profile of a man called Justin. A kind-looking, handsome man, in his bio he explained he was a widower with two children. Typing out a message to him, I had no idea I'd just matched with the man I'd go on to fall in love with.

At the age of 51, starting a relationship with a widower, let alone one with young children, was the last thing on my mind. My own four children from a previous relationship were between 23 and 33 and I was busy with my work in child protection.

Then, in October 2021, a friend joked that, like her, I would be single forever. Instantly, I told her she was wrong, I knew I was going to meet someone. But I hadn't had the best luck with men. My last relationship had been toxic and ended years earlier. I'd tried dating apps, but deleted them after some disastrous dates.

INSTANT CONNECTION

Still, I was ready to try again and that December, I joined Bumble. The first few men I chatted to fell flat. Two weeks later I was ready to give up, when I matched with Justin, then 50 and an author. He quickly replied to the message I sent him, saying he'd spent the day horse riding and, like me, had trained in reiki. We exchanged messages daily, and two weeks later, when he suggested we talk on the phone, the conversation was so easy.

That's when Justin first told me about his late wife Helga, and how she had died three years earlier from breast cancer, aged 36. He explained that he'd needed to know he could be OK caring for Bren, then nine, and Seren, seven, before looking for another relationship, but now he was ready.

I was so nervous before our first dinner date two weeks later. I really liked him, and we'd spoken for hours every night.