You Stole My SON

Dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.

- Dr Arshia Sheikh

"You stole my son" Does this statement signify toxicity? Of course!

Do you think you need to talk to your in-laws about this openly? Is it of any use? Well, at this point, the relationship is shattered. The statement itself signifies this. You can never consider these words in positive lights. Some mothers-in-law have very toxic relationship with their daughter-in-law. The latter feels that she is not embraced by the family yet. I don't think that somebody can steal or occupy someone's son. I think it's not her wish. Being loved in a relationship is what everyone looks for. But statement like "stealing a son" is only implied when the relationship is fractured, and it is an impossible task to repair it.

The irony is that at one point of their life, the mothers want to search the best wife for their son. They have a lot of expectations from her but when she comes to their house, their insecurity begins from the very first day. The shift of love and compassion of their son towards their wife leads their insecurity. Without trying to understand the new budding romance, the seed of insecurity and expectation hounds in their mind. From there, begins a blame game.

The woman who has just entered in your family, who needs to be welcomed with open arms is now looked down as the real culprit responsible for the change in the equilibrium. The stringent method of dealing with the new girl who had just started evolving in the relationships, started creating a mess between the two of them. On one hand, the toxicity grows as expectations are more, and on the other hand, it is the lack of experience which is not letting her to understand how to deal with the complex situation. As the time passes and the son is more involved with his wife and children, he is not blamed but a strong and disrespectful statement like "stealing a son" is thrown upon the daughter-in-law. This is how the twisted relationship becomes.