DEAR child inside, I have a new toy for you. A full-size, lavishly appointed Euro black-tie ghetto blaster which can, to individual taste, be hush-quiet or V8-raucous.
V8 what? Wait a second. Let me select Race mode via that lit thumbwheel on the wheel, dive into a sub-menu to summon Launch Control, deactivate DSC, lock the AMG Sound Experience in Performance mode, hold the car on the brake, floor the throttle, and brace for a violent lift-off.
Go! Unleashed simultaneously, the aggregate 1020Nm of maximum torque generated by two e-motors rated, briefly, at a combined 560kW, attempts to scalp the four 21-inch Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tyres, rears first, fronts to follow. Suddenly the soundtrack comprises a mighty boom-box drum ’n’ bass rumble delivered by two massive loudspeakers mounted under the rear bumper. We always wondered how AMG planned to fill the aural void brought by an electric powertrain; now we know. Push a button and it instantly reverts to muted hum typical of generic EVs.
The EQS AMG 53 embodies many distinguished personalities. It can be Lord Luxury, Earl of Excellence or Baron Brash and Duke of Distinction, depending on the user’s whim. The interior is a mix of digital technicolour wonderland and exquisitely crafted classic opulence. Options include 22inch wheels, a gaudy or stealth paint job, and the devil’s own signature Night Pack. Is the go-faster EQS a pretty thing? Even though beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the Panamericana grille shouts AMG from a distance, and the finely honed drag coefficient of 0.23 Cd pays tribute to the modernistic one bow design.
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