Love Yourself: Self-Pleasure And Relationships

Even in the twenty-first century, there are taboos and stigmas around sexual intimacy and self-pleasure. Lack of understanding about sexual intimacy and masturbation leads to emotions of guilt, insecurity, and difficulty conveying our wants.

In a talk with Bidisha Barik, Karishma (@talkyounevergot), an internationally experienced Sexuality Educator and Advocate, describes how cultural stigma leads to unanswered questions and guilt among young people with their own bodies. While the notion of masturbation is not restricted to one gender, and the use of sex toys is thrilling and appropriate even in heterosexual relationships, the stigma makes open conversation and spreading knowledge difficult.

People often have strange concerns about self pleasure that are not addressed by formal sex education in society, and no one takes responsibility for educating one about such physical changes. Karishma encounters similar instances in her role, where individuals come to her with scientifically unfounded questions about masturbation which, she believes, stem from cultural prejudices and misinformation spread on the internet. In a short interview, she sheds light on certain prevalent stigmas surrounding sexual and reproductive health.

The words 'masturbation' and 'sexual intimacy' are, to a degree, hidden or are associated with one specific gender, or not at all. What are your views about it?

There are a lot of taboos, but in my view, we should get rid of them since having taboos surrounding these things causes a lot of shame and an overall negative attitude toward masturbation and sexual intimacy. Just because we don't talk about these things, does not mean people aren't suffering from them or inquisitive about them. It's just that when we don't have an open conversation about them, a lot of misinformation spreads, through random posts on social media or the whisper net, and so forth.