'When I was 14, I typed a suicide note on a computer in the school library and printed it out. Some girls picked it up before me and read it – and do you know what they did? They laughed.
I didn’t think I was going to live past 16, yet now I’m a 31-year-old woman oiling my beard. Sometimes I wonder, “How did I get here?”
I was born in London and grew up there with my mum, dad and younger brother. Outside of school, my upbringing was great.
My parents took me to funfairs and theme parks, which I loved. We had picnics in the park, fun family nights and birthday parties, and we spent time with our cousins, having sleepovers.
But when I wasn’t at home, it was hell on earth. The bullying started when I was in nursery school because I was a quiet, brown Sikh girl with long plaits, who was an easy target.
And the more my body changed, the worse it got.
When puberty hit, I gained a lot of weight. Then, when I was 11, I started growing hair around my throat.
My mum took me to the doctor for tests and at 12 I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS, a condition that affects women’s hormone levels. Symptoms include irregular periods, growing facial hair and difficulty getting pregnant.
Without hesitation, my mum took me to a salon to have my face waxed. Those appointments continued twice a week for almost four years. I spent so many hours clenching my teeth in pain while the beautician tried to be sympathetic.
My mum thought, as did I, that removing the hair was the best thing to do because it would stop people bullying me. But it didn’t.
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