I Was Unceremoniously Dumped From The Interior Design Committe

As Ian Moore attempts to de-clutter in readiness for the B&B and gîte conversion, he soon realises that his wife has other ideas

- Ian Moore

I hadn’t exactly expected world domination by this point; our all-powerful, global chain of chambres d’hôtes will no doubt take time. But having made a bleak midwinter, fireside decision to start down the hospitality route, I hadn’t envisaged re-stocking the winter firewood before sod had even been broken, as it were. Don’t get me wrong, we moved to France pretty much for the pace of life, but this is now making tectonic plate movement look wilfully cavalier.

For a nation that prides itself on revolution, industrial action and generally sticking it to the ‘man’, France loves a rule. In particular, it likes to get permission, and planning permission especially. In order to convert the horse’s stable into a high-end chambre de charme, we need to kick the horse out and build the cantankerous old beast a new stable, which apparently now requires the dreaded planning permission too. Our shoulders slumped on the news, but the harassed mayoress, now with a Chief Inspector Dreyfus eye twitch following a general election and two rounds of legislative elections, was unbending. “The horse will need permission,” she said.