Born In 1988

Perspectives from a new generation of parents

- Samantha Gratton

Thirty years ago, Carolina Parent was born. So were many of today’s parents. To reflect on how life has changed over the years — and the state of parenting today — we gathered insight from a few moms who also turned 30 this year (or will before the year ends). While some of the tools and tactics have changed over time, today’s parents want many of the same things their parents did: happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who are ready to better their community and world.

BUILDING ON TRADITION

Every generation is different, but the most persuasive examples of how to parent (or, sometimes, how not to) often come from one’s own parents and childhood experiences.

“My parents did a wonderful job of loving us and growing our confidence as individuals,” says Natalie Carmen, a North Carolina native who was born in Durham and currently lives in Raleigh with her husband, Andrew, and 2-year-old son, Daniel — and has another baby on the way. “We are still early in the active parenting stage as far as discipline, education, and creating rhythms and traditions.”

Carmen and her husband are fans of transparent parenting. “We are committed to letting our children see us disagree, communicate openly, forgive and find resolution,” she says. “For us, the most important aspects of that process are demonstrating healthy communication and demonstrating the need to give and receive forgiveness. While it can be scary to expose our children to the parts of our personality that cause embarrassment, it is more important to us that we demonstrate humility and the characteristics that make us most human. We aim to build on the skillsets that our parents taught us, and we hope that our children, in turn, are able to build upon the skills we teach them.”