When You Clash With Your Kid

Your loving child has turned into a sulky, argumentative teen – perhaps their behaviour is even completely out of hand. Here’s how to cope.

- Vida Li Sik

LIFE’S getting more and more expensive, which makes it harder for you to give your children everything they need, never mind everything they want. When kids are young it’s not so hard to keep them satisfied because they tend to appreciate what they get.

But as they enter the teenage years they become more demanding. The simple, affordable clothes you usually buy are no longer good enough – only the latest brands will do. A simple cellphone won’t do – only the latest smartphone is “cool”. Not just any toy will do either – it must be a PlayStation or Xbox console.

At the same time you start to notice your child’s school marks are dropping. But when you raise the issue you’re pretty much ignored because “no one wants to hear your nagging”.

Soon others start complaining too. Teachers, neighbours and family members – suddenly they’re all talking about your child’s bad behaviour.

“She’s in danger of failing her grade,” the teacher says.

“He’s joined an izikhothane gang [where kids show off by destroying expensive items],” friends say.

“She’s drinking, smoking and taking drugs. It’s only a matter of time before she starts stealing from you.”

At this point you’ve lost all hope and even feel like disowning the “stranger” who’s replaced your loving child.