Dear Minaa,
I've been through many messy breakups in my life, but I recently ended things with a good friend, and I'm doubting my decision. I've known the person in question since college. We were in the same sorority (hi, 100+ mutual ride-or-dies!) and we became closer when we both moved to NYC after graduation. She was the kind of friend who would show up with two bottles of wine after a bad day, the kind of friend I trusted with my phone passcode.
But in the span of a few months, she split from her long-term boyfriend and lost her father. After that, she started to become more and more critical of my own relationship, saying she missed when I was single and that I was a "bad wing woman" for not staying out with her until 3 a.m. every weekend.
One night at a group dinner, she drank too many margs, scoffed at my new entry-level job, and said my boyfriend wasn't capable of real commitment-all before our apps even arrived. I knew her life wasn't easy at the time, but these personal jabs hurt. I was starting to feel like a punching bag.
I texted her the next day and said I needed to take a step back from our friendship. My heart raced when her chat ellipsis popped up, and I was heartbroken by her response: "Sure." In the weeks that followed, she temporarily moved back home to be closer to her family. I thought not having her around would be a relief, but it's been a lonely six months.
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