Love Is Sexy. Why Not Let It Happen?

Not everything has to be so hip it hurts. All-consuming love is sexy, raw and a little bit wild. Why not let it happen, asks Phoebe Walsh

- Phoebe Walash

Last week, I met my friend for a catch-up at an incredible Italian restaurant (ahem Pizza Express). Between a nearby couple erotically eating foodstuffs from each other’s forks and my friend reading verbatim the WhatsApp thread between her and the guy she’s seeing, I found myself—and not for the first time recently—rolling my eyes at romance.

It’s not just me. It seems like everyone is over love. What was once the defining mission of a young woman’s life is now ranked somewhere in importance between maintaining house plants and watching old episodes of Sex And The City. If the greatest thing is to love and be loved in return, then why has it found its way to the bottom of our to-do list like backing up our iPhone or calling our grandmas?

Maybe Tinder has made romance tawdry. We’re all too busy being fabulous to waste time on someone dreary and everyone knows it’s more important to be happy alone than rely on others, right? Wanting to find love seems at best a bit of a long shot and at worst a bit desperate. But when I look back on my tiny little life, it’s not the fifth season of Gilmore Girls I watched for the seventh time, or the harissa sweet potato recipe, that matter. It’s the audacious Facebook message I sent after meeting someone at a party. It’s someone’s amazing mouth. It’s the feeling that a person can see us for the piece of shit we sometimes are and still think nice things about us (and maybe even love us). Hercules didn’t dive into the river of souls because he forgot to do his Headspace meditation app. Wordsworth didn’t write ballads about being too tired from work to go on a date, even if the pub is just down the road.