From debates around consent to the redefinition of romantic relationships, the entire dating landscape is in flux. Welcome to a brave new world, says Alexandra Jones
“When a man puts his finger in your mouth, what do you do?” my friend Sophie, 30, asked as we sat having drinks in an east London bar. “Bite down?” I suggested. She explained that the context was dinner, date three, and he had, so far, been a nice man. Charming and chatty. They had kissed (no tongue). “He seemed interesting. So I didn’t want to just, you know, bite him.” He’d scooped out some mousse with his forefinger and the chocolatey glob was in her mouth before she realised what was happening. “I was still chewing other food,” she explained. “And then his finger stayed in there a beat too long. Does this count as assault?” She was laughing and so was I, but you do have to wonder what a man who feels comfortable fingering your mouth in public is capable of in private. She didn’t see him again.
I tell her about the time, a year and a half ago, when I went on a date and the man insisted, despite my protestations, on sitting next to rather than opposite me at dinner. We’d gone to a small Korean place near my office; low-key but great food. “It’s like we’re siblings,” I half-laughed when he sat down beside me. From time to time he’d rub my arm and say, “Your skin is so soft”. Later, after sex, he chastised me for being “unemotional”. “How could someone so soft in so many ways be so cold and hard in others?” He heaved himself over and pulled the duvet up dramatically. This was only our second meeting and I pointed out that it was absurd for him to sulk just because I didn’t want to spoon. “Maybe I like some space when I sleep?” I didn’t see him again. “There’s something unsettling about men who feel entitled to your personal space,” Sophie agreed. “Not danger-zone unsettling, but odd, you know?”
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the {{IssueName}} edition of {{MagazineName}}.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Bridal Trends, 2024 Edition
Bralettes, corsets and mermaid skirts emerge as the new must-haves when it comes to wedding dressing
All The Feels
Maahi Shah takes a deeper look at the big little moments in a bride's life as she prepares for her wedding day
ISLAND ESCAPADE
Here's why Fiji is the ultimate destination to celebrate your love.
ROMANTIC ESCAPES
Wondering where to head for a honeymoon getaway? Isha Mayer recommends five luxurious destinations for your honeymoon
The Taste Of Weddings
What goes behind planning those extravagant grazing tables and indulgent bites at weddings? Top gourmet caterers let Isha Mayer in on their processes
Challenging Convention One Ritual at a Time
Maahi Shah speaks to five female priests who have been breaking new ground while upholding faith and pursuing a passion for learning
FIJI: A TROPICAL FOR INDIAN HAVEN WEDDINGS
From pristine beaches to cultural familiarity, discover why Fiji is the perfect destination for Indian weddings.
MAKE YOUR WEDDING FANTASY A REALITY
The Westin Hyderabad Mindspace offers luxurious venues, exquisite dining and unforgettable moments
SHINING BRIGHT EVERYWHERE
Lab-grown diamonds for every occasion—luxury and affordability
BRIDAL BEAUTY, REDEFINED
Christine Ko, CEO of Moira Cosmetics, shares her insights on makeup for brides and the art of achieving radiant skin.