For years I have suffered from raging insomnia, and as usual I was pacing the streets of my local town centre fuelled with adrenaline after a poor night’s sleep. I found myself in front of a drab police station and suddenly there was a eureka moment.
I was ready to break the codes of the deeply secretive religious organisation I had been born into and tell the story of horrific, repeated abuse that has haunted me for more than 40 years. So, just like that, in 2004, I walked into the police station and reported to the desk: “I want to talk to somebody about some abuse, please.”
It would take another six years before the police finally began investigating my abuser, Derek Lincoln – a member of the Children of God (CoG) cult. And then, a further 10 years later, Lincoln faced judgment day: last year he pleaded guilty to repeatedly raping and sexually abusing me and another woman decades ago, when we were young girls.
After rebuilding my life by studying for a psychology degree and with the help of therapy, I can talk about my ordeal: how I was born into a cult that openly condoned sexual relations with children within its warped “God is love and love is sex” doctrines.
It began with my mum, Peace. As soon as she was able, she left an abusive home in north London to become an au pair in France. She was vulnerable and ripe for grooming, so it’s hardly surprising that when she wandered into a Paris park one day in 1975, she immediately fell for the charms of my dad, Fabien. He was out “witnessing” (trying to win converts) for the local CoG commune after leaving the French navy.
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