The Joy Of Being A Single Mum
Marie Claire - UK|August 2018

A new wave of books and TV shows are redefining the single mum stereotype. Here, three writers share the realities of pregnancy, dating and winning at solo parenting.

The Joy Of Being A Single Mum

Sophie Heawood is a freelance writer and columnist and mum to  daughter Echo, aged six

When I found out I was pregnant, it came as a huge shock because the father and I weren’t in a relationship, although we’d been friends for many years. I remember trying to convince him about a girl’s name I liked, and it turned out he was against it as it was his mother’s name. I had no clue and yet we were having a baby together. Except, after he tried and tried to come round to the idea, he ultimately couldn’t – and so then I was having a baby by myself. That’s how it has remained for the past six years, just me and my daughter, and I only wish I’d been quicker to acknowledge the freedom it has given us.

I grew up in a happy nuclear family of four, but the closeness that Echo and I share is something my mother and I will never have. Partly that’s just generational, but there’s also something about my child and me in our lovely, funny, giggly bubble – we go on holiday, run into the hotel room and bounce on the bed together like newly-weds. Well, like newly-wed children, perhaps. We are a couple of sorts, and while I’m always quite vigilant about her having other committed adults in her life in godparent-type roles, there’s a certain blissfulness to it just being us.

Of course, I don’t want her to be responsible for my emotional well-being. I’m definitely her mother, and she is a child. There are boundaries, and the responsibilities are all mine. But there’s nobody I’d rather sit next to on an aeroplane or share a milkshake with or even snuggle up in bed with, even though she hogs all the pillows and kicks me in her sleep. She’s a pretty well-behaved child, and I do like to think it’s because the lines of communication have always been so open between us.

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