HOW WE EAT NOW "Our grandparents have never been more precious"

Covid-19 kept us separated from our families for months, and reminded us how much our loved ones mean to us. In this new series, British-Iranian writer Punteha van Terheyden talks to grandchildren and grandparents about the bond they share through a love of cooking. She begins with her own story

- PUNTEHA VAN TERHEYDEN

During lockdown, my parents self-isolated in Watford, while my husband Andy, our three-year-old daughter Millie and I did the same in Market Harborough. No more big family meals at mum’s on Saturday afternoons, or weekends spent eating and laughing together at my new house.

Instead, I’d FaceTime them and wait impatiently for my mum, Ellie, to answer. I’d been gate-crashing their dinners via video, calling when I knew they’d be eating. Mum would answer and hold her chunk of tah dig (crispy ‘bottom of the pan’ Persian rice) to the camera and laugh. ‘Mikhori?’ she’d say in Farsi, asking if I’d eat some. When I groaned with the need for the food, she’d instantly feel guilty, wiping away tears, and so would I, the longing to see each other acute.

As we talked, our thoughts would turn to my grandmother, Mahin ‘Mami’ Behzad, isolated alone in her flat in Tehran – she was lonely and her mental health deteriorating. But we video-called most days, and I began asking her for recipes. They came interlaced with her memories of life as a young married woman, and how she’d cook for 50 guests, then fall asleep on her feet – Mami was often found snoozing upright in the guest mattress cupboard, her eyes closing the moment her head touched the stack she was supposed to be scooping up.