A woman’s brain during arousal is much more active – and active in more regions – than a man’s is. She’s more responsive to sexual stimuli, so take a multi-sensory approach with her body and in your bedroom. Every woman is different, of course. So experiment!
Full arousal should start from the outside in, says Patti Britton, coauthor of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sensual Massage. Start with her hands and feet, the “workhorses of the body” exposed to the public. “When they’re touched and caressed with an intention of connection and pleasuring, it opens up another dynamic,” Britton says. Hold her hand, lightly caress her palm, or give her a foot rub. It can help her relax and feel safe – and ultimately, surrender.
1 STROKE: HER EAR
In reflexology, ears contain energy pathways, or meridians, same as feet do, says Britton. You don’t have to buy it, just try it: gently hold her earlobe between your thumb and forefinger. Slowly find the outer edge of the lobe and gently stroke or pinch it. Move to the side of the neck, below her ear (a hot spot for many people), and then to the back of her neck.
2 CARESS: HER BREASTS
Start by lightly touching the nerve-rich areas on the tops and undersides of her breasts. Take your time caressing the whole breast before heading for the super-sensitive nipples. “A slow pace is key to a woman’s arousal,” says Britton. Think of sex as a meal. Savour it, don’t gobble it. Patience is rewarded.
3 KISS: LIGHTLY, LIGHTLY, LIGHTLY
This isn’t a peck, and it’s not deep (yet). You need to get the pressure just right. Feel the rim of her lips with your lips, and explore her lips with your tongue. The feeling of your breath on her lips – and hers on yours – can be intensely intimate.
4 BRUSH: HER HAIR
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