How To Heal The Turmoil Behind The Smile

In the photos they post, at dinner parties with friends and during work, they smile. But inside, millions of women are struggling and too many of them don’t seek help until it’s too late. Women’s Health explores the epidemic – and the critical steps women can take to lose the façade, heal the turmoil and finally feel whole again

- Carrie Arnold

Becky took a deep breath, cemented a smile on her face and stepped out of her car, swooping down to wrap her niece and nephew in a giant hug.

Becky – a school teacher – pushed away the thoughts that had been playing on a loop in her mind during the drive to her family holiday: what if I crash the car? Now I’ll never have time to prep my classroom for the school year. I shouldn’t have agreed to come. But it had taken Becky’s mom weeks of cajoling to convince her to join the family at their holiday home and Becky didn’t want to let her down. For the next three days, she played with her sister’s kids, posed for pictures and went for boat rides, all while hiding her growing sadness and her panic about the drive home.

On the last day, she snapped one final happy photo from the boat and posted it to Facebook with the caption: “Last boat ride on the lake this summer!” But inside, her turmoil was building, threatening to crack her upbeat exterior.

The minute she stepped off the boat, she practically leapt into her car. Her only goodbye was a curt “I have to go right now.” When Becky got home, she fell into bed, sobbing. “Once again, I couldn’t enjoy myself, even though I was surrounded by my favourite people.”

For millions of women, this dichotomy between inner anguish and outer cheerfulness is all too familiar. Experts call it “smiling depression,” in which individuals put on a false front to hide symptoms. Surprisingly, they say that it – as well as its sibling form of anxiety – is far more common than more severe forms of the illness.