Dating? We all make mistexts

Today, I met up with the hottest man who has ever wanted to go on a date with me. A gorgeous face, a body like Hercules, a winning smile, an abundance of talent and charm - the jackpot. He may actually be the best-looking man I've ever seen in real life.

- AMROU AL-KADHI

I'm really not used to this kind of luck. I'm more accustomed to racist and transphobic British gays telling me that they "don't fuck Asians" or that they think I'm cute but "way too much of a fag". And here he was, the human embodiment of a trophy, who, after having sifted through my pictures, decided that, yes, he wanted to meet me, a flailing drag queen who can't even tie their shoelaces and who was once likened to a Rasputin lookalike at school. What do they put in the air in LA that transforms my fate so?

It was all quite overwhelming. Especially as I arrived at lunch hungover from a party the previous day, and was wearing my T-shirt backwards because it had a massive pizza stain on it.