How To Be Your Biggest Cheerleader!

Here’s how to stop listening to our not-so-silent mean girl.

- Meg Mason

Picture this: you’re listening to our best friend describe the worst day at work. She made a small, stupid mistake and got screamed at by her boss. As she blows into a tissue, you pat her leg and say “I’m pretty sure you deserved it, though. You’re just not that good at your job. In fact, you’re kind of an epic fraud and it can’t be long before everyone realises that. Oh, and I think you’ve gained weight. Which, come to think of it, is probably why you’ll never find love. More wine?” It’s safe to say that if you ever spoke to a friend this way, she’d never speak to you again, because who wants to listen to that toxic speech?

The funny thing is, most of us are tuned into that inner-voice every waking minute of the day. But instead of coming from an easily ditchable frenemy, it can come from within. Our own inner-mean girl, the one sitting on the mental sidelines constantly questioning, condemning and calling out as well as stone-cold criticising our every move.

In her book Bird By Bird, writer Anne Lamott calls it a 24-hour stream of “self- loathing, the lists of all the things one doesn’t do well, all the mistakes one has made today and over a lifetime, the doubt, the assertion that everything one touches turns to sh*t, that one doesn’t do relationships well, that one is in every way a fraud, incapable of selfless love, that one has no talent or insight, and on and on and on.” Phew!

It can become quite overwhelming, and it’s difficult to know how to start fighting back. Fortunately, the good news is you can.

FIGHTING BACK