Men Who Believe You Owe Them Sex

There's a creepy new trend on the Internet andit can affect your dating life. Here's what you need to know about incels.

- Adora Wang

Ever turned down sex or a date? How’d the guy react? Did he snap and say women are “holes” just for “poking”, or say you owe him sex?

It may sound unbelievable that there are men this crazy and disrespectful, but there are. And they’re called “incels”. Incels is a creepy new trend on the Internet — and if you’re a young woman who’s independent, happy and just living your life, you’re their secret obsession.

And that’s where things can get disturbing, and possibly very dangerous. Unlike regular guys going through a dry spell, incels (a portmanteau word of ‘involuntary celibates’) believe that women owe them sex. And because they’re unable to find a romantic or sexual partner (not that it’s any wonder why), they develop a deep hatred for women like you.

Hatred may seem like a strong word, but it’s not uncommon to see incels on the Internet calling women “shallow”, “stupid” and “evil”.

CLEO visited some of the many online forums where incels congregate, and what we found was shocking. Because the worst of them are not just ranting about wanting sex – they say rape and violence towards women is OK.

They don’t just target women

Incels hate women but they aren’t typical misogynists or women haters — they fall into the extreme end of the spectrum.

“All incels are misogynists, but not all misogynists are incels,” says Professor David Barash, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington. He has written several books on human aggression and the sexual behaviour of animals and people.

What does he mean? Incels don’t just hate women. They also hate men who are attractive, popular and sexually successful. It’s jealousy gone even more dangerously toxic.