Shah Rukh Khan's New Year Resolution, To Get Healthier In 2017

The world’s biggest movie star on failure, forgetting – and why he’s fascinated by strange minds.

- Shikha Sethi

Shah Rukh Khan is wired: Our interview – which takes place over three hours – is fuelled by cigarettes and espressos. It starts in the actor’s ₹4 crore vanity van, continues at Stage 5 at Bandra’s Mehboob Studio and ends back in the van post GQ’s cover shoot. The crew on set is a little flummoxed when, even though his shot is ready, Khan pulls up a red plastic chair next to me and, as promised, continues with our conversation. For a good 30-minute interlude, we sit quietly, as flashbulbs pop and lights are tested, stylists, caterers and managers hover about us, never quite daring to encroach on our circle of intimacy, as we talk about faith, love and death.

What’s your first memory of failure? 

I remember running a 100-metre race in school [at St Columba’s, Delhi], against boys who were a little older than me. Till that point, I’d been running with boys my age and I was used to being in the lead. In that race, though, I came fifth out of six or seven boys. As soon as the race was over, the school officials rushed over to the winners and whisked them off to the podium. There were people around, but no one came to me. It was the emptiest feeling.

You felt invisible, like you didn’t count? 

It was depressing. Not the kind that makes you feel like crying or sad. That comes later. It’s a mental thing. You go back to your bench, and take off your spikes – as cynical as it sounds, failure is something you face alone. Success has a lot of masters, friends and well-wishers. But failure is lonely. Still, it’s just as textured as success.

What are some of the nuances of both?