Tim Urban analyzes the reasons for chronic tardiness
My friend Andrew recently sent me a link to a story titled ‘Optimistic People All Have One Thing in Common: They’re Always Late’.
Intriguing. Nothing’s better than the headline ‘The Reason People Are [bad quality that describes you] Is Actually Because They’re [good quality]’. I got to reading. And it turns out late people are actually the best people ever. They’re optimistic and hopeful:
“They believe they can fit more tasks into a limited amount of time than other people and thrive when they’re multitasking. Simply put, they’re fundamentally hopeful.”
They think big:
“People who are habitually late don’t sweat the small stuff; they concentrate on the big picture and see the future as full of infinite possibilities.”
Late people just get it:
“People with a tendency for tardiness like to stop and smell the roses … Life was never meant to be planned down to the last detail. That signifies an inability to enjoy the moment.”
By the end of the article, I had never felt prouder to be a chronically late person.
But wait … Late people are the worst. It’s the quality I like least in myself. And I’m not late because I like to smell the roses or because I can see the big picture or because the future is full of infinite possibilities.
I’m late because I’m insane.
The issue is that there are two kinds of lateness:
1) OK lateness. This is when the late person being late does not negatively affect anyone else—like being late to a group hangout or a party. Things can start on time and proceed as normal with or without the late person.
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